Live, Listen and Learn V.5 (Martha Martha Martha)

Today I was stressing the importance of re-reading books to my 1st grade Reading group.  

We talked about how sometimes when you read, you do not get all of the information the first time around.  I used a book I had just re-read and finished this morning on my commute as an example.  I have definitely read my share of my favorite books time and time again.  Go ahead and ask me how many times I have read Animal Vegetable Miracle.  I cannot get sick of Kingsolver's writing or the story; and the inspiration that I draw from that book each time I pick it back up is infectious!  

While I had read The Martha Rules once before, and maybe even twice before, I knew that there is valuable information in that book that I should certainly be reminded of.

I remember when Martha Stewart had gotten into all of those lengthly legal battles involving her personal portfolio and perhaps some unwise or misguided decisions.  I felt as if she was being made an example of, and quite frankly I felt she was targeted even more because she is a woman in a place of high power.  She is also a very visible woman, who inspires many others and this situation had the potential to absolutely crush her career, and the empire she had built up by elevating the Art of homemaking into something to be revered and respected.

Even though I was aware this type of situation could potentially halt all of the successes she had made, I had a feeling Martha would come through shining brighter than ever.

Martha has the unique gift of creating beauty where others see work.  She has the ability to bring together and manage a design team of incredibly talented people and she has the charisma to inspire and empower others around her.  She is ultimately a very gifted teacher.  

As the R train neared Times Square, and I was finishing up the book, I re-read a paragraph that I would like to share with you. 

Martha writes: 

"There are certain things that just can't be taken away from you: not by a change in government regulations, not by a fire in the warehouse, not be a betrayal of a trustee, not even by a federal trial and incarceration.  The precious things that remain are you ideas, your determination, your work ethic, your loyal colleagues, your mentors and all of the other friends who care about you and encourage you." 

What an absolutely inspirational message in a world where we often get discouraged and feel a little bit lost.  Thank you Martha. 

xoh!

d

Live, Listen and Learn V.4

My sister and I were talking a lot about the difference between growing up in America and growing up in other countries, or even the difference it makes when you spend time in other countries. I know that people often say moving to another country and living abroad changes you forever, so I asked my sister a little bit about that. My sister studied abroad in London during her undergraduate, and she moved to Czech Republic and lived there for a while. She and her husband, who she met in the Czech Republic moved to Portugal together for a little while before going back to Prague and then eventually moving to NY.

We discussed a lot of cultural and social differences that occur in other countries and there were many to talk about! One thing my sister said is that in other countries, children listen to their elders and respect what they have to say. There is a tradition of listening to people older than you and really taking it in, realizing that maybe they have something to share with you that they have learned from all of their years and experiences on earth.

Well, at the Czech Center opening, I spoke to many different people of all ages and coming from a lot of different backgrounds.

One person I spoke to was this gem:

Who imparted the following wisdom...

He said, "I have learned this...if you want a good life, you need 4 things:

1. Someone to love
2. Something to do
3. Something to look forward to
and
4. To not take life too seriously"


...I think this is wonderful advice!
xo

Live, Listen and Learn V.4

One of my favorite places to Listen and Learn is on TED|Talks. I was introduced to Ted Talks during graduate school at RISD, where we watched a TED|talk by Sir Ken Robinson on Schools Killing Creativity. After this video, I was pretty much instantly hooked on TED|Talks, and used to project them in my old apartment and watch them while eating dinner.

Here is a video by Mark Bittman on our food production, titled, "What's wrong with what we eat." This topic is very important to me, and I try to stay abreast of changes in our food production and how my choices affect the bigger picture. Yesterday on the phone with my father, he asked me..."Why are you having me read this book to make me become vegetarian?" He was referring to Eating Animals, by Jonathon Safran Foer, which I gave him as a holiday present.

Now, my goal isn't to make everyone vegan or vegetarian, and that was not my intent on buying this book for my father. My goal is to make him informed, which is exactly what I told him. 'My goal is not to change everything about you, or change the way you eat, my goal is to change the way you think...I want you to be informed about what you eat, how your purchases affect others, and I want you to think as deeply about food as you do about finance, goal setting, and psychology.'

Here is a video to get you thinking deeply about food:

Live, Listen and Learn V.3 faire la vaisselle!

I was taking a train from Rye NY where I was staying with my sister, into the city to meet a gentleman for a first date, when the funniest thing happened. The person sitting across from me on Metro North looked interesting to me. I had absolutely no reason to talk to him, but I knew I should (strange feeling but it was undeniable, I needed to speak to this person!) I am so socially awkward and nervous around new people that I usually say nothing and regret it later. Once I know someone thought, it is hard to shut me up! :)

A couple got on the train and sat down, one beside him and the other beside me. The very tall burly man that sat across from me, his feet taking up the whole aisle had his zipper down, to which the train conductor tried to be a gentleman and discreetly tell him. He kept telling the man to come over to him politely and the man refused to stand up. His wife, who spoke broken English asked the conductor what was wrong, and stated that they had tickets and did not do anything wrong. The conductor, realizing this was going nowhere, wrote on a small piece of paper..."his zipper is undone." The woman read it and started laughing and signed to the man to check his zipper. The whole issue arose because the man was deaf and simply did not understand what this conductor was saying! I finally had an in to speak to this person...something hilarious and awkward had just happened and we both witnessed it!

The lady started speaking to him, telling him sorry for disrupting him on his commute, and he spoke back and...oh my god, FRENCH ACCENT! I am seriously obsessed with France! I love it there and at the same time this happened I was (and still am) studying the French language. The lady noticed his accent and asked him if he is from France to which he replied, "No I am from Japan." French and funny!

The lady also spoke French and started to ask him questions, 'what is his name, is he was with me'... She said she saw a connection there. Maybe she saw me smile to myself when I heard his voice, who knows!

From this situation, a budding friendship occurred. With support through text messages from my best friend Missy, I decided to randomly give this French man my number and see what happens. What a great idea! Months later I was on an impromptu trip to Paris and had free lodging and someone to show me around town with an inside scoop! Not to mention, I was able to practice my French around him.

The Live Listen and Learn lesson could stop right here...

Trust your instincts and do not be afraid to meet new people!

A little bit of eavesdropping (respectfully) went a long way in this situation, as I was able to meet a new friend and meeting this new friend took me on spontaneous adventures, how great is that?!

But there is more! One day my new friend was over and I was washing dishes. I was wiping down my cutting board when he said "Ugh, you Americans! So wasteful!" I know this statement to be true, but I was sort of surprised someone was calling me wasteful. Instead of getting defensive right away, I asked him what he meant. It was at this point that Louis taught me the correct way to wash dishes. The non-wasteful way.

When doing dishes, do not leave the water running EVER!

No, Madonna NO!

Here are the steps:

1. Wet your sponge or dishcloth.

2. Soap up all dishes without water running. *I use the following brands of dish soap usually. I recommend using a natural dish soap, they are highly concentrated, and better for the environment!

3. Rinse of all dishes with hot water and put on rack.
I even make sure that in between each dish I rinse off that I turn off the water while I place the dish on the drying rack.

This is so simple and it made me realize how counterproductive my old method was! I was soaping the dishes while rinsing at the same time and wasting water and also soap! Not to mention, it took much longer to get the dishes cleaned because I was simply doing it the wrong way!

Merci Louis!

Live, Listen and Learn V.2

My father was up this past Sunday and he is the absolutely KING of giving advice books, motivational tapes etc. Literally no visit with my father is complete without some sort of motivational tape set to listen to in the car. This time it was a set on Persuasion.

I am going to be honest, there are things I wish my Dad would have taught me...things about how to take care of my car (like, hmpf, change the oil why don't ya!), or how to save money at an early age and the dangers of credit cards etc. (Yes, he taught me the saying: Pay yourself first...but I never quite GOT IT until more recently). He didn't teach me how to not destroy my Jeep, credit, or give myself an emergency fund at an early age, but he did teach me a lot regardless. We can't expect our parents to be the ONLY sources of information or to cover every single base, right?

I will certainly be able to post more than ONE Live, Listen and Learn tidbit from my father, but for now, here is just one quite valuable piece of information that he has passed along to me:

Your TIME and EXPERTISE is worth MONEY!

This one sentence gets so lost on so many of my friends, particularly females. This notion was further drilled into my psyche by Suze Orman's book Women and Money, and Lois Frankel's Nice Girls Don't Get Rich.

How often have you volunteered to help some cause and wore yourself completely thin, exhausting the possibility for you to do something for yourself, and spending way too much time and money on the organization that you were volunteering for? Now, I am not against volunteering, but I am against volunteering because you think you HAVE TO, or it is YOUR ROLE, or because you feel GUILTY. Never volunteer more hours than are healthy for you! Never volunteer for a cause you do not fully support, and as soon as you feel you are being taken advantage of...speak up and delegate out tasks!

How often has a friend asked you (if you are crafty or have any skills), to "hook them up" with something? A tattoo, a haircut, a piece of art, a handmade dress? Come on, I know you have made a million things for friends without even wincing at the fact that you didn't even ask for material supply coverage! DON"T DO IT! Didn't you learn this trade, sometimes going to school and paying costly tuition bills, spending hours of time learning how to master your craft? Perhaps you even spent money to get licensed! I often give art as presents, or give my friends a discount...but you have to AT THE VERY LEAST COVER MATERIAL COSTS! Also, if your friend has a skill (or something you have been eyeing), never underestimate the power of the barter, or trade!

Jessica Hische made this great "Should I work for free?" flowchart on the subject:

Visit her site for a full scale version.

Last but not least, DO NOT UNDERSELL yourself. Do not charge way below market value for your goods, your time, or your expertise. Just because you may not have a store/job/boss over you dictating your wages, does not mean you should sell yourself short!

YOU ARE WORTH IT!

Live, Listen and Learn

I talk A LOT! I really talk so much that I used to find myself (and sometimes still do), after a hang out session or date thinking, "oh my, I didn't let the other person/people get a word in edgewise...I need to stop talking and start listening!"

I have gotten a lot better at this, but it always helps me to remember just how much I learn if I shut up and listen sometimes!

In my Live, Listen and Learn posts I will be highlighting some form of really valuable information, tips or tricks that I have learned from others. Some info could be from someone that I have dated (because a relationship is never really a failure if you learn some secret recipes!), some may be friends that I am still close with, or others that have faded into obscurity. Regardless of where they are now, I know that each person I come in contact with, makes some sort of impact on me, some big, some small. And each person you meet and spend time with, or speak with...could be a person that changes the way you think, live, or simply sort your laundry.

Let's start simple!

Bethanie who was a close friend in High School kept the neatest closet that I ever saw, (I on the other hand, used my closet as a fort or sometimes vampire hangout). Whenever she came to school her clothes were very nicely pressed, and somehow she never had any lint or pet hair on her clothes despite having a dog (Patches: wow, how do I remember her dog's name!?)

Basically, with my complete lack of care for what I wore in High School, unless by care you mean cared enough to purposely draw the design with marker myself, she was the polar opposite of me. I did shut up and listen however and learned a trick that comes in handy for adult me.

I know that Bethanie learned this trick from her mom, so really I can credit Mrs. P for this gem:

If you want to avoid lint/dog hair on your clothes, especially clothes that are black, hang them inside out. Simple and it works!

Thanks Bethanie and Mrs. P!

(this post would not be complete without an awful High School picture of us, Bethy is in front of me, and I am the one in the pink...with the...haircut, ha!)